Perhaps one of my greatest gifts, and deepest sorrows, was one year ago today - my daddy's birthday - the last one he would spend with us this side of Heaven. It went something like this...
We'd made big weekend plans to visit my mom & dad and to spend Sunday with my daddy for his birthday. Two days before our trip, we learned of a required activity for Caleb at school on Saturday. UGH!!! We'd just have to go on another weekend. But as the days approached, we knew we had to make Sunday work - and we did.
The day was the epitome of perfect! We drove in early Sunday morning to join Daddy & Judy for church only to learn of the church picnic happening right after service.
The weather was as perfect as it gets in Arkansas, in October. Warm enough to enjoy the day, yet still crisp enough to enjoy what Fall has to offer. The leaves were turning, the ground was dry (for playing football). The kids played together for hours. Daddy was feeling better than he had in a while - chemo is THE WORST - I couldn't hate anything more than I do chemo. He spent much of his time talking - he could make a conversation with anyone about anything. No doubt sharing stories that rival only those from the movie Big Fish. At one point, a group of our church members pulled out a guitar and starting "a singin'", because Baptists do NOT miss a chance to sing. Heavenly Highway Hymns is, by far, my most coveted book. I think it was midway through their second song that my heart sank deep as I looked around at my sweet Momma Judy singing, my Daddy talking exuberantly with ALL of the hand motions, my husband and children playing football - my niece and nephew joining as well, my Aunt Brenda chatting with my baby nephew, my sister & her husband attempting to corral said baby nephew... and I realized that this day was TOO perfect. What should be something joyfully observed was dampened by the thought that I was likely experiencing the last birthday my daddy would share with us. As I sat there with the deepest ache I'd known to date, I felt strangely thankful for having slowed down long enough to recognize this most perfect day for what it was. I vowed to absorb every moment the day had to offer, and I still feel every bit of it as if it were happening right now.
Our car was the very last to pull away from the park that day. I didn't want to miss a single second.
My daddy left this life just a few months later, the early morning of Thanksgiving Day. He took an incredibly large part of my heart with him, but he left me with only the most beautiful memories and an innumerable amount of them. For that, I will forever be thankful.
Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you.
Love,
Your Baby Girl
