15 years and counting

In honor of us celebrating our 15-year dating anniversary last week, and me missing last week's Fridays Finds and me being completely uninspired this week. . . I thought I'd share just a handful of my favorite pics of the two of us over the past 15 years. It's been an unbelievably wild (and sometimes, very tough) ride, but it's soooo been worth it - and I'm excited for the next 15 years and then some!

The day after we met (2000)

Our first summer together (2000)

Matt's high school graduation weekend (2002)

Our wedding day!!! (2003)

C's Pre-K graduation (2006)

Danny & Abbie's wedding (2009)

NYE 2010

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Random date flight - with an added bonus of seeing daddy & Judy (2010)

My TCC graduation (2012)

Family Pics (2012)

Celebrating our 10-year wedding anniversary in San Francisco (2013)   

At a friend's wedding (we like weddings) 2013

Oktoberfest with friends (2014)

Friday night - date night! Celebrating 15 years. (please forgive the grainy selfie!)

These are just a few of my favorites. The memories contained in every single shot is what I'm most grateful for today. Do you have a favorite photo with accompanying memory? Please share!!!
Comment below or join me and link-up with Ember Grey to share!

My Husband, The Overachiever

I totally planned to talk about our move (closing, not closing, meltdown, excitement, etc), but after this weekend, I interrupt this blog with gushing tales about my love.

Meet my husband, The Overachiever.

I melt.

If you've been around any length of time, you've seen this photo 87 times.  But that's okay, because, well, I get to make the rules on here, right?!

We've been together 15 years (next week) and in all of that time, he's never failed at anything that he's tried. If I didn't find him so stinking handsome and funny and amazing and awesome, I'd kinda hate him for this fact alone. Everything he puts his hands to is a success. Sometimes he tries things, decides he doesn't like it and he moves on, but never, ever, because he couldn't cut it. He inspires me like none other.

This weekend's project is exhibit V.178 in the long line of amazing things he's accomplished:

Please forgive the boxes and the ladder (and the poor lighting). Moving stinks!

Again, please excuse the mess.

This photo was taken just prior to sitting down with our very good friends to "christen" our new table. Thankful that Shawn & Joy could be a part of such a fun time for us! And thankful that they forgave me for posting to Instagram while we were eating. I mean, it's "insta"gram, right?!?

I've been wanting this table for a LONG time. Just a few weeks ago, I came across Décor & The Dog's Farmhouse Tutorial and essentially begged and pleaded and fussed and whined until he reluctantly agreed to make my table. Come to find out, he was afraid he's mess it up. Sheesh - as if.

He did some research and found a different tutorial that he felt a little more comfortable with (as a newbie) and a plan was born.

2.5 hours at Lowe's (would've taken ONE hour if our kids weren't in need of a serious timeout), countless stain and shade of white choices, and a few power tools later, and he was hiding away in the garage. He literally only came out to go to the bathroom and to eat dinner. This is why I label him The Overachiever. He doesn't just "do" stuff, doesn't just "accomplish" a task, he OWNS the task and kicks its hiney!!

We used Rust-oleum Ultimate Wood Stain in Carrington for the top and under the paint on the base, and we used Valspar Signature, Eggshell finish, in Pale Bloom. The sample on their site makes it out to be pink, but it's not pink at all - it's a great antique white and compliments the Carrington very well.

We have thoughts for chairs, but nothing in stone. The Overachiever wants to make them, and seeing the amazing job he did on the table, I'm all for it! We'll see if he talks himself down from that ledge.

On this beautiful Tuesday (I took Monday off - from everything), my grateful heart is happy that The Overachiever chose me almost 15 years ago, and again every day since. My heart is full and my cup runs over!

What fills your heart to its fullest?

Join me and link-up with Ember Grey to share!

Thankfulness

Can I just be honest with you? I've put off this post for over 24 hours because I am in the middle of a massive pity party. As I mentioned Friday, my amazing husband made the trip of his lifetime (so far) across the country, to his "homeland" of SoCal. That was awesome! I was a wreck until they got there, but it was awesome!!!! So. Stinking. Awesome. And, he has since turned it into a vacation by staying an extra 3 days.

I'd love to go on a vacation. . . Wish he would have wanted to go with me instead. . . Wonder what its like to go to an amusement park without my family. . . Hope he appreciates the fact that I didn't kill the kids and that the house is cleaner than its been in months. . . . These are just a few of the thoughts that have taken over me this weekend - and I still have over 24 hours to go. People - the struggle is real. Jealousy is real. Loneliness is real. Lack of self-worth - it's oh so very real. Still. . . . this week (as should be every week of the year), we focus on being thankful, and I have an inordinate number of reasons to be thankful. I might be writing this while sulking about the fact that he's currently walking along the coast with other people, but darn it - I love that man!!!

He is by far my greatest blessing this side of Heaven. He has stuck with me (and I with him) through some of the most agonizing situations. He has loved me when I couldn't even love myself and was therefore completely unlovable. He is an amazing daddy to our children. AMAZING. He has shown me what it means to dream big and accomplish those dreams. And - just when my pity party is about to get the cops called on it, and I think he couldn't possibly be thinking of me because he's having too much fun without me. . . he sends me this. . .

It might have just been a peace-offering, but it meant more to me than I can say. Yup - I'm so very thankful for him.

I'm thankful for my two beautiful, healthy, loving, caring, funny, strong, courageous children. They bring a light into my world that can't compare to anything else. They also make me crazy and have learned my buttons, but they love their momma and she soooo loves them!

I'm thankful for my parents - all of them. Sparing you the book I could write on this topic, I am so very loved by quite a few people - all of whom call me daughter. I have full, step, in-law, adoptive, chosen. . . . I have it all. I am so very thankful.

I am thankful for my friends, including my sibling-friends. I am thankful that they trust me with their innermost feelings. I am thankful that they have me over for dinner to help lessen the ridiculous pity party or to keep me from going insane when my kids are out of state and my husband is working in an even different state. I am thankful that they love me for who I am and forgive me when I'm a little too much. I am thankful that I get to share in their lives in such a beautiful way. They help make the hard days bearable and are my greatest cheerleaders on the amazing days!

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father whose mercies are new every morning (AMEN!) and who not only loves me, but IS love. Who calls me "chosen" and "loved" and "forgiven" and "HIS".

I could go on for days and days. Life may not always be fair, and there is always someone who has more or can do more or can get more. . . but SO WHAT!!!! I have been blessed with an amazing life. What are you thankful for today?

Ephesians 4:20 (AMP)

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams]

Linking up with Ember Grey:

How to destroy your daughter's self-esteem

My daughter listens to everything - except the things I ask her to do, of course. I've known this for a long time, but the other day she surprised us in a humorous way. While eating dinner, C was talking about the decorations in the kids' area at church during a recent series (Happily Ever After).  He was rather impressed with the ceiling decorations and said, "I wonder how they got all of that up there?!?" to which P immediately responded, "With a cherry picker". I was so thrown by her response.  A cherry picker?!? What does she know about a cherry picker? We found it quite amusing and she was awfully proud of herself.

A couple days later, I was reminded of this random moment in our lives and then struck with the most severe amount of guilt.

She listens to everything. . . . . . the thought overwhelmed me.

She listens when I put myself down, because my self-image is an absolute wreck.

She listens when I compare myself to others in my life - and even those who I'll never know personally.

She listens when I cry and complain, as I put on the fifth outfit and still feel like a disgusting mess.

And then - she listens when people tell her how beautiful she is, and then follow it up with "you look just like your mommy". 

She is stunning - she's beautiful both inside and out.  She's funny and caring and a friend to everyone. She is compassionate and loyal. . . . She is an awful lot like her mommy.

And so, on that day of my recollection, I died a little inside. Turns out, I could write an entire manual on how to destroy your daughter's self-esteem. *stomach churning*

I'm pretty sure I edify her (and her brother) 100 times a day, but because she's told me countless times that "I want to be a mommy like you" (meaning - she wants to be like me when she grows up), what she REALLY hears me saying is that "SHE'LL never be good enough" or "SHE'LL be a disgusting mess" even if I'd never, EVER, actually say those words (because there isn't a drop of truth in them).

This is the precious child who is constantly complimenting me - whether it be about a meal, a song I'm singing, an outfit, earrings she hasn't seen in a while. . . . then she hears me cutting myself down as if to say "HER words mean nothing to me". Guys - I was overwhelmed. I'm still overwhelmed.

So, for her, I'll stop believing the lies about myself and start believing God's Word. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He knew me, before I was ever known - and He loves me.
Because, THESE are the things I want her to know about herself!

Redeeming Love - A Sister's Love

Growing up, I was (am) extremely blessed to have a sister - one who grew up with me, Stephanie.  But, I also had another sister, Christina, and we didn't see much of each other.  This is our story (Christina & me) - the shorter version.

Every summer, I vividly remember the long trip from Little Rock to Tulsa to pick up my brother & sister for their summer visit.  It was always tons of fun, and to this day, we still play "Sallisaw, Henryetta, Wagoner, Catoosa" on every trip - even if it's through facebook.  Then came the trip at the end of the summer - I hated that trip.  I think I'd cry all the way through Alma, AR, every time.  Broken families suck - don't do it. 

As my brother & sister grew older, their visits would be shorter, until one day they stopped.  They'd grown up, there was no more visitation, and the summers stopped. 

Fast forward about 10 years and the visits had been limited to an occasional holiday, but nothing really serious - no actual relationship, if I were to be totally honest.  By this time, my sister had kids of her own - whom I adored, but didn't see very much of.  But such was this life we lived.  Looking back, I don't think I thought much about it because it seemed like the norm.

Then - what remnants of a relationship that did exist suddenly didn't.  We didn't have any kind of relational foundation, really - we were bound by blood, but no substance (which, by the way, is terribly saddening to put into writing).  And without any foundation, our differences on some pretty tough and real topics, separated us completely.  In fact, I'd say that they tore us apart - similar to the way you'd have to "tear" something you've crocheted - ugh. 

Many years went by and Matt & I found ourselves in Tulsa, trying to raise a family.  Little by little, Christina & I began to build what started to slightly resemble a relationship.  It was enough that I could talk about "my sister", but was still lacking.  I was too wrapped up in the reasons that things fell apart to begin with.  Then, one afternoon while in prayer, our sweet Heavenly Father lovingly whispered, "I never asked you to be my Holy Spirit.  I only commanded you to love".  Meaning, regardless of my convictions, I had no right to convict others. At the time, I felt so guilty, but I know that was not His intent.  His intent was to give me freedom, to redeem love. 

And let me pause "our story" to describe redeeming love.  We use the phrase often, but I wanted to dig a little deeper into the meaning, to give a little better picture of what has happened in the past couple of years.

While looking up "redeemed", I came across another form of the word - "reconciled", or katallasso, which means "to change, exchange, reestablish, restore relationships, make things right, remove an enmity".  Wow.  If that right there does nothing for you - let's move on.  Otherwise, chew on that for a few more minutes.

The word "redeemed", or padah, means "to release, preserve, rescue, deliver, liberate, cut loose, sever, to free, to ransom".  Wow!!!

Back to "our story".  This simple message, in the midst of my heart wrenching cry to the Father, changed the course of my life - of my kids' life.  I'd love to say that this course change was immediate, but it more closely resembled a process.  It was (and is) a process of changing, reestablishing, exchanging, restoring, making right, preserving, rescuing, delivering, liberating and ransoming love.  It cut loose and severed the fears and heartache associated with our petty (in light of life) differences.  It allowed us to build what is now a beautiful, loving relationship - and allowed my kids to have "Aunt Nina" whom they love and adore like none other. 

About a month ago, my beautiful sister turned 40 and I had the distinct honor of planning her special evening.  It was one of the most exciting, saddening and educating experience of my life.  You see - as much excitement as I had, and as much fun as I had. . . it was quite sobering to realize that I didn't know my sister's favorite cake flavor or whether or not she liked chocolate chip cookies.  But, I'm happy to tell you that I learned about these things - and continue to learn some of the most amazing things about one of the greatest blessings in my life - my big sister - every day.  For His redeeming love, I am eternally grateful, and I highly recommend you giving it a try!  Your life will never be the same - and that is good for OH so many reasons!  :)

Here are just a couple pics from her special day! :) 

Some pictures just don't need captions

Me, mom, Steph, Nina

Keeping it real

So often, I've considered a series of "Truthful Tuesdays" or "Sunday Confessionals", but let's be real. . . . I am fortunate to get the few chances that I get, so I'd be foolish to think I could keep up with something like that.  That said, sometimes I'm still overwhelmingly compelled to share my darkest moments with you and call it something like above.  Why would anyone want to share these things?  Ego, attention, sympathy. . . for me, none of these.  I truly believe that I am who I am today because of people who shared their hearts with me along the way.  If a story from my heart can change just one day of one person, I feel that the pain I went through to develop that story is somehow worth it.  Pardon me while I sob and write - for the benefit of whoever needs to hear this.

So, today's untitled darkness is related to marriage, particularly mine.  Everyone that I know has stories they could tell about them and/or their spouses.  If you haven't had at least one moment when you thought "what the crap was I thinking?!?!?!", then your wedding was obviously fake and you should get your money back! Sometimes, however, the hurts go deeper and you actually walk out of the door - whether figuratively or literally.  Today's writing is about the day that I walked out - in both senses of the phrase.  It hadn't been long since we moved to a new state, away from all that I'd ever known.  We had two "babies" (C was 4, P was about 18 months old), I had just returned to work, Matt had just quit working (to attend school), we were broke (like ramen noodles and mac n cheese kind of broke), and I was so very scared and felt so alone.  I walked past the man of my dreams daily, but still felt so abandoned, somehow "duped" into believing in this ridiculous dream of his.  I can honestly tell you that I don't know when "it hit" or even what caused it, but one day I was just done.  I wanted to go home, wanted out of this insanity that we had made of our lives at the time.  I recall very little about the actual "incident", just the pain that went along with it.  I headed out the door and made it as far as the first step before falling to my knees.  I'd been through this before.  A few times, in fact, and I knew that divorce was nasty, dreadful, and destructive.  I'd been the child in these instances, but still knew that I'd give anything for this to not be the case.  I'm not sure how long I sat there before I just dialed the first number I could find in my phone.  Ya'll - it was my mother-in-law.  That's right. . . picture this conversation for a while "I know he's your son, but if I don't leave right this second I'm gonna kill him - just thought you should know" (or something like that).  Looking back on it, I laugh so hard, but I kid you not - I am still overwhelmed with tears when I think of the pain we were both enduring at that time.  I will have you know that she didn't hang up on me or scream profanities, instead she prayed with me.  She prayed with me for at least an hour, I swear. . . until I was so overwhelmed by peace and love AND HUMILITY that I was able to walk back through the door armed with the only words I could muster "I'm sorry" and "I love you".

We were so broken at that point.  To this day, I know it was nothing but the grace of God that allowed Matt to embrace me at that moment.  I'd like to say that it was all peaches and ice cream after that, but we all that's not the case.  It was rough in our home for a while, but we refused to walk away.  I could go on and on about this as there are 11+ years to talk about, but I feel like I'm simply supposed to tell you why I'm glad I walked back in. . . .

Sometimes its easiest to share in pictures, so here are a few from the millions of reasons I'm thankful that we both had great counsel in our darkest moments.  We would've missed out on so much.

And as if this wasn't enough, let's not forget these two beautiful smiles. . .

No one on this earth could love me more patiently, more unselfishly and more completely.  If this post was written for you, open the door.

Love you! :)
Laura

More proud mom moments!

I hesitated sharing this in such a public place, but I decided that it was only appropriate that we share all of the exciting things in our lives!! :)

Without giving too many personal details on his behalf, the past year has been extremely challenging for C.  He has shown unbelievable amounts of dedication, and hasn't given up at all on strengthening the areas that he is weak in.  Math is one of his best subjects, but due to a reading disability, he struggles with deciphering written instructions, and word problems are something we all cringe at in a way that is indescribable.

He recently dedicated 4 weeks to additional instruction during the summer and his efforts paid off in such an encouraging way.  I honestly can't describe how blessed we have been through this process; God is so faithful - all the time.  And finally, as if we needed further proof of His love and faithfulness, here's some frame-worthy evidence that we're sharing with all of you.

Year in Review: Kindergarten Celebration

This post is perhaps the one that cause me the most shame.  My baby girl finished kindergarten with only a few commemorative Facebook posts.  In my defense, I wear a lot of hats.  :( Anywho. . . . excuses aside, P had the best kindergarten experience.  As I shared with her precious teacher (she really was the best), P had the kindergarten experience that every single child deserves.  She learned so very much, had the most kind teacher (who also demanded appropriate behavior), and developed some of the sweetest relationships.  She even had a "boyfriend"; his name was Matthew.  She thought it was only fitting that he was a "Matthew" because her favorite guy in the world also has that name! :)
During this year, we also experienced sorrows that will never be forgotten.  Most memorable was the Connecticut school shooting.  That was impossible to comprehend and even harder to talk to a 5-year-old about (or 8-year-old!). :(  I think about those parents often and I hug my babies a little tighter.  Not long after that, one of P's classmates was killed in a car accident.  The person he was with was drunk, the little boy wasn't buckled in, it was horrible.  (Note: it was during this loss that P got to share Jesus with one of her other friends. #proudmommamoment)  We talked through a lot during those months.  It was both the hardest and the most exciting school year I've experienced as a mom.
All of this said, it was only appropriate that they rocked out at the end of the year.  They sang the CUTEST song, "Kindergarten ROCKS" (which I can't find online and also can't find the video, boo!) and as you can see below, they LOVED it - just like they loved class all year long!

 

I'm so very proud of my "almost-finished-with-first-grade"-er.  She is such a joy in every way!

And on this note, I'd really like to go back to kindergarten.  I felt the need to put that out there.